In A Perfect World

While I am waiting for the surgery to install my new bionic knee,I seem to have a lot of time on my hands and spend a large amount of that time thinking about things that have not been invented but I wish they had.

For example, how about a device that you could link to the T.V. which would change the channel if someone you hate comes on.
Or a teleportation device that beams dogshit into the pockets of dog owners who allow their animals to foul footpaths.
Another favorite of mine is that car alarms should send a 5000 volt electric shock to the car owners nuts if the alarm goes off needlessly at night
How about a remote control for people so you can turn the brightness up and the volume down.
But my all time #1 would have to be a machine for dropping a 15 ton weight on the shop assistant who yesterday told me "yes we know that the door handles on sale do not work with the bathroom lock sold in the same aisle, we told our buyers but they have not done anything about it". This total fuckwit really made my day, one trip to the store to buy the handles and lock 2 hours work to chisel out the mortise on the new door and then another hour spent changing both lock and handles. All because this moron did not point out the problem in the first place. I suppose I should not be surprised the store concerned pays minimum wage and as my dad always said " If you pay peanuts you get monkeys".

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