They Lied To You

When we were kids our parents and relatives had many things that were said to us to teach us how life was to be, They lied. Here is the proof

#1 Money can't buy you happiness. I've never seen a miserable millionaire

#2 the meek shall inherit the earth. Yeah 6'x3'

#3 Smoking stunts your growth. I'm 5'11" tall and weigh 260lbs. Please tell me when it's going to work

#4 Masturbating makes you go blind. Untrue after extensive laser treatment and the best lenses Japan can supply I have now sold my seeing eye dog and got rid of my white stick.

#5 Eating carrots makes you see in the dark. Rubbish, I had carrots for dinner and still fell over coming home from the pub.

#6 Cleanliness is next to godliness. Whatever this piece of bollocks means I don't know. How physical hygiene can be linked to spirituality is inconceivable to me.

#7 Always wear clean underwear in case you are run over by a bus. If you are run over by a bus the first thing you are going to do is shit your self , so why bother.

Enough nonsense for today, I'll leave you with another short verse

Spring has sprung ,
The sprung has spring,
They say the bird is on the wing,
But that's absurd,
The wing is on the bird.